Transcending Time
by Denise
Summary: Carolyn Muir's dreams to meet the Captain in his world are finally a reality after a horrible accident


"Transcending Time", by Denise Rushton

"Bye, Mom, see you at the game!" Carolyn Muir smiled as she heard her young son Jonathan call out to her as Martha herded him and Candy from the family station wagon. It was a sunny, mild day—just perfect for a little league game. "Bye, kids!" Carolyn responded, and then as a reminder to Martha, "Don't forget to pick up the new curtains from the store."

Carolyn put the car into gear and pulled away from the curb. Though outwardly she appeared to be in an even-tempered mood, her mind was going a mile a minute over an argument she'd had earlier with Gull Cottage's resident specter, Captain Daniel Gregg. That morning, he caught her removing the old curtains from the bay window of the master bedroom, and he had protested mightily when he found out that they would not be returned to their rightful place. Even at the best of times, the Captain tended to be aggravating about any changes to his "ship", but when it came to changes to the area around the telescope, he was particularly obstinate.

"Madame, may I remind you that this is my room, that you are merely borrowing it for the time being!" 

"Why can't you be reasonable, Captain Gregg? These curtains are ancient and moldy. The entire room is so drab because of them. And may I remind you that as long as I have a lease this house is _mine_. Ghosts can't own property, or anything else for that matter!"

As the words came out of her mouth, Carolyn realized that she may have gone a bit too far with that last comment, but she really had no time to waste on a protracted debate with the captain. She was already running late in getting the children into town and then off on her own to run some personal errands before Jonathan's game that afternoon. She glanced at the captain only to witness his eyes widen in anger and his mouth about to open to issue a scathing retort to her comment, but she cut him off by briskly sailing out the door and slamming it behind her.

As with most of their arguments, however, that hardly ended the issue. Captain Gregg materialized in front of her as she was reaching for the knob of the front door. Carolyn drew back and was about to protest when the Captain said in a magnanimous tone, "Madame, belay that! All right, you've caught me in a good mood. I'll allow you to get new curtains, but I must insist that they are similar to these."

Smiling, Carolyn looked up at the captain and a slightly mischievous glint flashed in her eyes. "Of course, Captain, whatever you say." she replied innocently. As the captain was uncertain if she was not being altogether serious, he did not pursue the point and let her pass through the door. After all, he chuckled to himself; I'll just take the new curtains down if I don't like them.

She called over her shoulder to the children and Martha, "Come on now, get a move on, we've got a lot to do today," in order to get them moving before the Captain had a chance to change his mind. 

She got behind the wheel, and the others got in the car as her mind went over the argument. She knew Captain Gregg very well by now, and had a sinking feeling that he was not going to appreciate her choice in replacement curtains. Well, he's going to have to remember that this is my house too, and he's simply going to have to adjust, she thought determinedly. In her fervor, she slammed inadvertently on the gas pedal, sending the car lurching forward. The feeling of determination quickly faded, however, as she recalled that "adjusting" was not one of the captain's strong suits.

Carolyn was still mulling over the argument as she drove from the curb after dropping off Martha and the children, and really was not as aware of the roadway as she should have been. Because of that, she did not see the blue sedan that sped through the intersection and broadsided her wagon. It seemed unreal to Carolyn as her car was slammed sideways and the door burst open, sending her flying into the street, where she rolled over a couple of times and came to rest on her side.

Carolyn lay in the street for a few moments, and then heard her children, Martha and others running up, calling to her frantically. She sat up and realized that she did not feel injured, and so she smiled at the tear stained faces of her children as they reached her. 

"Candy, Jonathan, don't cry. I'm okay," she said reassuringly as she reached for them, but was confused as she realized that they were not looking at her, in fact, they ran right past her.

"Children, where are you going?" Carolyn inquired as she turned to look where her children had gone, and felt faint as she saw what they were looking at. She could not have been more amazed at the sight of her own body lying crumpled in the roadway, limbs akimbo like those of a rag doll.

It took what seemed like hours for Carolyn to comprehend what had happened—she had been killed in the crash. An overwhelming feeling of sorrow filled her as she stood helplessly, watching her children clutching for her body as Martha tried to drag them away. With the help of a couple of neighbors, Martha managed to pull the hysterical children away to the sidewalk just as the volunteer ambulance pulled up and its members jumped out to start working on Carolyn's prone body.

This can't be happening! It's got to be some kind of mistake, I can't be dead! I've got to take care of my children, what's going to happen to them? The disjointed thoughts exploded through Carolyn's mind as the scene in front of her faded. "NO!" she screamed in panic, "Don't take me away! I can't be dead! I have to be with my children!" But an irresistible force pulled her from the scene and it faded to black.

Carolyn was too much the novice at being an apparition to realize that it was under her own ghostly power that she was removing herself from the scene of the crash. Her own overwhelming desire to escape and not have to face this horror compelled it, and when she finally opened her eyes she found herself in the front hallway of Gull Cottage. Upon seeing where she was, she was filled with some hope—the captain will know what to do, he can bring me back to the living, she thought crazily as she ran up the stairs. She didn't even realize that her feet did not touch the steps as she did so.

She grabbed wildly for the doorknob, and gaped in disbelief as first her hand and then the rest of her fell headlong through the mahogany door as she cried out, "Captain, are you here?" The momentum from plunging so forcefully through the door caused her to crumple in a tangled heap on the floor.

As the words left her mouth she saw the captain turn from peering through his looking glass, a look of aggravation on his face. He usually heard when Mrs. Muir came through the door; he must have been completely lost in thought, he reasoned. He was about to admonish her on so rudely interrupting his reverie, but then he noticed the unearthly glow which surrounded her as she looked up at him and cried out in terror, "Captain Gregg, please help me! I'm so scared!" 

His eyes widened in incredulity as he recognized that eerie glow and realized that Carolyn Muir was now a specter just like him, and he ran over to help her to her feet. As he knelt down at her side, transfixed by her eyes so filled with desperation and panic, her arms reached around his neck and she began sobbing against his shoulder. She didn't even realize how odd it was that now she could actually touch him, and he allowed her to just lay there and cry, his arms circling her protectively, and he stroked her hair in an effort to comfort her.

As her tears fell, Captain Gregg was wrestling with mixed emotions of his own. A part of him was thrilled that Mrs. Muir was now like him, an ethereal being. The pair had lived for almost two years in a frustrating situation, having to deal with an undeniable attraction that could not be fulfilled. He had so often dreamed of being able to embrace her, stroke her soft cheek, kiss those tender lips. He could scarcely believe that his dreams could finally now come true.

But an unfamiliar feeling of embarrassment at his selfishness consumed him as he cradled the despondent woman in his arms. He knew why she was so miserable—she was filled with alarm over the plight of her children, now orphaned at such a young age. She is such a wonderful mother, he thought, and she's all those children have. What will happen to them now?

Absently, he kissed her hair but did not notice that her tears had stopped until she turned her face up to his. He looked down into the hazel eyes bright with teardrops. His kiss had made her aware that she could finally feel the captain's embrace, and that realization bewildered her so that her sobbing stopped abruptly.

It wasn't that she wanted to forget about leaving her children, but she was starving for comfort and reassurance. The realization that she could finally find both of these and more in Captain Gregg's arms was an overwhelming opiate, and she looked into his dark eyes with a yearning she had not allowed herself to express before. She allowed that long denied passion to drive all other thoughts from her mind. 

With an unusual feeling of confusion at the workings of the feminine mind, the captain stared back into her eyes, trying to read her thoughts, uncustomarily unsure of what he saw there. "Mrs. Muir, what happened?" he stammered in a most un-captainly manner, as he was having a hard time grasping this change in their situation as well. Carolyn did not answer his query, instead she reached up a trembling hand and softly stroked his beard. She didn't want to face what had happened, she only wanted to lose herself in his embrace. She sighed and whispered the word, "Daniel."

It was only after hearing her whisper his name that he was sure he correctly understood the meaning of her look, and once he did he gently pressed his lips to hers, and felt her body respond to his touch. Their long suppressed emotions overcame the pair, and their kissing intensified quickly. It was only stopped by the sound of Scruffy barking in the distance at a passing car.

Suddenly remembering herself and what had happened, Carolyn pulled back from the captain's arms; a hot flushed feeling welled up inside of her and she averted her eyes disconcertedly. How could she do that, she admonished herself unmercifully, how could she so quickly forget her precious babies and the pain they were enduring? 

The renewed look of fright and confusion in her eyes told the captain what she was thinking, as he watched her scramble to her feet. He stood up as well and reached for her hand. Wide eyed, she backed away from him until her shoulders pressed against the wall.

"Madame…Carolyn, I did not mean to take advantage of you just now. I only wanted to comfort you, I know you must be upset."

Carolyn distractedly mumbled something under her breath, cursing herself inwardly for acting like such a flustered adolescent in front of Captain Gregg. She knew that she had to get a grip on herself, to start thinking clearly, but all she could think of was the feel of Captain Gregg's lips against hers. She had felt as if she was drowning in them, a feeling she had never had before. No, not Captain Gregg…Daniel, the man who could finally be her lover…NO! I can't think this way at all. I've got to look after the children. She turned to slip past Captain Gregg, but his arm propped against the wall at her side prevented her leave.

"Mrs. Muir, where are you going?" the Captain said gently. He knew what she wanted to do, to turn back the clock and prevent the inevitable—just as he had over 100 years before when he had kicked over the gas heater. His experience made him know that of course she could not do this, but she was in too fragile a state to look at her situation logically. All he could think of was to protect her from being hurt further.

"Captain, let me go! I have to find Candy and Jonathan!" she tried to push his arm out of the way but he would not yield. He firmly took hold of her shoulders and held her in place against the wall, but still she tried to wrest herself from his grasp, pummeling his chest with her fists until she collapsed against him in exasperation.

"Listen to me, Mrs. Muir…Carolyn. You can't go back to them; you have to accept what happened to you."

Her tears began to fall again and he tilted her face up to look him in the eye. She whimpered, "But I don't want to be a ghost." It saddened Captain Gregg at first to hear that, as for a moment he took it to mean that she did not want to be with him, but then he remembered that she said that because of her children. At least I was spared being torn away from anyone so important to me when it was my time to go, he thought grimly.

As for Carolyn, voicing those words, it hit her how futile was her wish. Her fists unclenched and she reached her arms around the Captain for comfort and sighed a resigned "Blast!" She looked into the Captain's dark eyes and tried to smile, "At least I'll have wonderful company…Daniel."

Captain Gregg used his fingers to wipe the tears from her cheeks, and then once again kissed those sweet lips. As she once again lost herself in his arms, the same all consuming feeling as before overtook her. But this time, it changed and she felt like she was being pulled out of the Captain's arms, and opened her eyes to see that this was indeed the case.

"Daniel!" she cried out, reaching for him, but the force yanked her away, despite their efforts not to be separated, and she found herself surrounded by a dark gray fog, with distant, indistinguishable noises in the background.

Slowly the fog receded, and the noises became distinguishable as voices. "Mrs. Muir? Mrs. Muir, can you hear me?" 

"Daniel?" she murmured confusedly in response, and then her eyes fluttered open. As they focused, she could make out the tear stained faces of her children and Martha, and saw that she was laying on a hospital bed.

"Don't move, Mrs. Muir, you have to lie very still," admonished Dr. Rogers, and a nurse gently held her down on the bed as Carolyn tried to sit up. The doctor continued, "Mrs. Muir, you've been in a bad accident but you're going to be alright now. You were just unconscious for a little while."

"Huh?" she replied foggily, "Where's Daniel?" 

"Who?" queried the doctor, as he looked to Martha for an explanation. "Mrs. Muir, do you mean Captain Gregg?" asked Martha.

"Yes…uh, no….don't know," Carolyn muttered as she slipped back into sleep from the injection the doctor had given her upon waking. The doctor and Martha agreed that Carolyn had been hallucinating from the effects of the concussion she had suffered.

Carolyn was in the hospital for five days, when Martha and the children came by to drive her home after her release. She had not seen Captain Gregg in all that time, and once her mind cleared from the effects of the concussion she had suffered, she told herself that her entry into the netherworld had only been a dream. 

Though she was relieved to be still among the living, she couldn't help a little feeling of regret that it would only be as a ghost that she would be able to enjoy any further physical contact with the Captain. Her face burned just thinking about the way he had kissed her in her dream, and wished it had gone further between them. It just seemed so _real_, she told herself for the thousandth time since she awoke in the hospital, shaking her head in disbelief that it wasn't.

Martha insisted that Carolyn go straight to bed upon returning to Gull Cottage, and would not take no for an answer. The truth be told, Carolyn was a little nervous about returning to the bedroom, and blushed immediately once Captain Gregg materialized, which he did the second Martha left the room. 

"How are you feeling, Madame? I've been very worried about you and your recovery," asked the Captain as he sat on the edge of the bed upon which she was lying. 

Carolyn responded in a voice she tried to keep as nonchalant as possible, "Oh, I just had a little accident. Some bumps and bruises but I'll be as good as new soon." Nothing in her voice gave any indication of the passions she felt when last she spoke to the Captain.

"I didn't mean that, Carolyn," he pushed, staring into her eyes intently, "I meant how you were adjusting from being a ghost, even if only for a little while."

Carolyn's mouth dropped open in shock—_then it hadn't been a dream_, she said to herself as he continued.

"I suppose it wasn't your time to die," he continued matter of factly, unable to keep a little note of disappointment out of his voice, which Carolyn picked up on.

"I suppose not," she replied flippantly, not fooling Captain Gregg for one second with her casual affectation. She saw from his face that he was saw through her act, and she dropped her eyes shyly.

"I thought it was all a dream," she began, and tilted her face up to look at the Captain. "I couldn't believe the way you made me feel when we kissed. Then when I woke up, and thought that it didn't happen, I couldn't truly believe it—it was so real for me."

"And so it was…Carolyn, for a short, beautiful moment in time we were together. I miss it so much already," Captain Gregg said, reaching out his hand to cover hers. Though now she could not feel it, she saw it hovering lightly above her hand, and wished desperately for another precious moment in time when she could feel his gentle caress. Looking from their hands, lying so near yet so far, she looked into her Daniel's eyes and saw her desire mirrored in his eyes.


End file.
